|
|
| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
Urbanangel
GutFeel Senior
Joined: 15 Apr 2004
Posts: 62
|
 Posted: Tue Jul 13, 2004 1:53 pm Post subject: Is spanking the only solution for troublesome kids? |
 |
|
The recent British parliament’s refusal to completely ban parents from spanking their kids is a point of concern.
I feel that the parents have full right to lay down the ground rules but they can’t be allowed to show their superiority by using a physical punishment. It is often noticed that when the parents are tired and frustrated and the child is irritating them they often resort to such practices. I believe that a healthy communication is the only way to settle issues in any relationship.
In countries like Sweden, Norway, Denmark, and Australia there is a total ban on spanking the child. Their opinion is not in tandem with Tony Blair who thinks that such a ban would be a ‘state interference’ in a personal relationship.
I believe that even use of light spanking has a negative impact on the child’s psychology. He or she maybe more aggressive and never learn to take things in his stride.
What are your views on the subject?
UA |
|
| Back to top |
|
 |
Aditi77_k
GutFeel Senior
Joined: 19 Apr 2004
Posts: 82
|
| Posted: Tue Jul 13, 2004 3:39 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I feel a little show of authority is ok for a child...he should not start treating his parents as his equals...a law to ban this will be like intruding into the personal relationship...children are children and need to be controlled when they go out of the way.  |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Editor
Site Admin
Joined: 09 Apr 2004
Posts: 337
Location: India
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 14, 2004 3:28 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I think the issue is rather relative and it's very hard to generalize on this. By that I mean, you can't say that all people should or should not smack their children, because it depends upon the individual in question.
I think some people can't show restraint, while others can. There is a very fine line between smacking a child and abusing it. Tempers flare and emotions boil over, and what started out as a little smack becomes a full-blown drama.
The reasons are varied and I have seen people saying that "He wouldn't stop crying. I just meant to smack him to make him be quiet".
Though I am not an expert, my gutfeel is that it surely affects the child’s psychology, the degree of effect might vary from child to child. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Mellisa
GutFeel Junior
Joined: 06 May 2004
Posts: 25
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 2:39 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| This topics demands attention as different parents have different ways of dealing with their kids...but i believe that spanking is not proper and should be avoided as it stops the communication too. The child will either cry or sulk and the matter will remain unsolved. I think putting matters across in a firm manner is a better option. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Jan
GutFeel Junior
Joined: 05 May 2004
Posts: 27
Location: UK
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 16, 2004 4:35 pm Post subject: |
|
|
The question: Is spanking the only solution for troublesome kids?
My gutfeel is that it is not a solution by any strech of the imagination as a means to make a child behave. The severity of the spanking makes no difference. Every child has a different temperament and the slightest tap to one child may be as traumatic as the fiercest beating to another.
How many people have you heard; when discussing this issue..."Well, I was spanked and it never did me any harm" They will then go on to tell you what they were spanked for and how hard the spanking was. Ergo, it did do them dome harm. They have remembered it for all those years and can recall it so vividly.
Raising children to be well behaved is not easy. However, if a parent choses to smack their child for displaying certain behaviours, the problem is not with the child it is with the parent's lack of thought and imagination on how to correctly deal with issues arising from the behaviour of that child. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Solitare
GutFeel Junior
Joined: 22 May 2004
Posts: 17
Location: UK
|
| Posted: Sun Jul 18, 2004 8:02 am Post subject: |
|
|
My feel is that one should not spank kids at all. Their minds are raw and such acts could have lasting affect.
I agree with Jan, that if a kid is smacked its more because of parents inability to coach their kid effectively.
Tony's decision in this regard is not appropriate and it should be stopped.
Thats my 2 cents. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
RebelliousOne
GutFeel Senior
Joined: 11 Jul 2004
Posts: 64
Location: Arkansas
|
| Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2004 11:07 am Post subject: Re: Is spanking the only solution for troublesome kids? |
|
|
| Urbanangel wrote: | The recent British parliament’s refusal to completely ban parents from spanking their kids is a point of concern.
I feel that the parents have full right to lay down the ground rules but they can’t be allowed to show their superiority by using a physical punishment. It is often noticed that when the parents are tired and frustrated and the child is irritating them they often resort to such practices. I believe that a healthy communication is the only way to settle issues in any relationship.
In countries like Sweden, Norway, Denmark, and Australia there is a total ban on spanking the child. Their opinion is not in tandem with Tony Blair who thinks that such a ban would be a ‘state interference’ in a personal relationship.
I believe that even use of light spanking has a negative impact on the child’s psychology. He or she maybe more aggressive and never learn to take things in his stride.
What are your views on the subject?
UA |
Urbanangel:
"Spare the rod and spoil the child" is my philosophy. As a parent, it is my duty and obligation to teach my child not only the difference between right and wrong, but to enculturate him, or her, so that s/he understands that there is a right way to act and a wrong way -- and the wrong way can lead to not only shunning but, under the right circumstances, a long drop with a short rope attached to one's neck.
Secondly, my child belongs to me -- not the State; indeed, that child is my property until it reaches its majority; until then, it will do as I command, or else it will suffer the consequences.
Is that a harsh philosophy? Yep, but realistic, considering the lessons that the child must learn to be a productive member of its society. Indeed, a righteous spanking at the appropriate moment can alter a child's attitude to one of appreciating what is important in life, as opposed to just "hanging out with one's (hoodlum) friends."
To get a head in this world, one must have discipline of mind and character; and if one doesn't come by it naturally, then one must learn if from the bottom of one's pants. Pain is the great teacher, and a beat-red butt never hurt anyone who deserved it.
Tell the State to shove it; I'll determine what is the appropriate punishment when my child does wrong, even if it means I pull down the child's pants in public and blister the little 'ellion's butt -- and heaven help the bureaurat who interjects his, or her, opinion into how I raise my child. Indeed, my gutfeel is that the bureaurat probably needs a good whipping more than my child, and I'm more than willing to apply that punishement whenever the State decides it knows better how to raise my child than do I.
Children, like animals, are not rational or reasonable; they need firm discipline to understand what is expected of them; and by with holding the lash, they learn only that sophistry is a shame, and that no one goes to 'ell for doing wrong.
My way may hurt momentarily, but in the end, my way will produce the better citizen.
RO |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
webs
GutFeel Junior
Joined: 21 May 2004
Posts: 13
Location: Germany
|
| Posted: Mon Aug 09, 2004 2:07 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Ro:
I do not and will not endorse your way of dealing with kids.
You have pointed out that the child is like your property, but i feel that you can not label the child as your property and behave as you wish with him or her. This is like objectifying the kid as if you have the full control on him and he can't have a mind of his own. Grow up man..this is just pure ego...
You cannot compare children with animals. And you cannot force them to obey you by using such logic.
The discipline of mind and character which you are talking about comes naturally to a child who have his parents as role-models whom he or she would like to emulate rather than be fearful of. If parents can lead by action they can sure produce better citizens. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
RebelliousOne
GutFeel Senior
Joined: 11 Jul 2004
Posts: 64
Location: Arkansas
|
| Posted: Tue Aug 10, 2004 11:20 am Post subject: |
|
|
| webs wrote: | Ro:
I do not and will not endorse your way of dealing with kids.
You have pointed out that the child is like your property, but i feel that you can not label the child as your property and behave as you wish with him or her. This is like objectifying the kid as if you have the full control on him and he can't have a mind of his own. Grow up man..this is just pure ego...
You cannot compare children with animals. And you cannot force them to obey you by using such logic.
The discipline of mind and character which you are talking about comes naturally to a child who have his parents as role-models whom he or she would like to emulate rather than be fearful of. If parents can lead by action they can sure produce better citizens. |
Webs:
No, what I said was, "...my child belongs to me -- not the State; indeed, that child is my property until it reaches its majority; until then, it will do as I command, or else it will suffer the consequences." That is not ego, that is reality. I do have full control of that child, and s/he will do as I command, or else that child will feel my wrath on the seat of its trousers -- period.
As for the child having a mind of its own, it is that mind which we are talking about, and how best to discipline and civilize it -- and you do that mind, and child, a great disservice if you do not firmly instruct the child on what is expected of it within one's society. If the child is quick-witted, s/he catches on early, and corporal punishmnet is used minimally; however, if the child is slow-witted, or rebellious, then it is up to the parent to take whatever steps are necessary to alters that child's unacceptable attitude.
Au contraire, I most certainly can compare children to animals; indeed, until they are civilized, children are not much more than animals with potential; and it is that potential -- that mind -- which we are talking about. If the child is to lead a useful life, it must learn early that it may not do whatever it wants, whenever it wants; indeed, it must learn that there are serious restrictions in the adult world, and if they violate society's rules of conduct, such behavior can land them in prison, or worse.
I am sure that if we lived in a perfect world, a world where Wally and Beaver Cleaver lived, our children could look up to us as role models. Unfortunately, we denizens of the real world do not enjoy the luxery of high-priced script writers and, consequently, we must fumble our way through life making one mistake after another. As our children grow and mature, they, too, will come to realize that living life means making mistakes and, if they are truly lucky -- or disciplied -- those mistakes will not land them before the magistrate -- which is where parents come in.
Parents are not there to be 'best friends' with their children -- at least not until the child is properly enculturated, which means well into that child's adulthood. You do the child no good if you do not establish parameters -- hard and fast rules of conduct; indeed, you not only harm the child, but you put our society in harm's way if you allow an unruly and undisciplied child to roam the streets freely, al la Klebold and Harris of Colombine fame.
No, thank you, no; I have little use for children who believe they are the equal of adults, or that they are mom-and-pop's best friends. We parents are not here to give them license, but direction and discipline. Indeed, it is our job, as parents, to establish boundries for behavior and purpose for our children's lives, and if you are not up to that task, then you ought not breed.
Your way smacks of appeasement. It sounds like the "oh, golly, I read every book on child raising but s/he still turned out to be a mass murderer" school of child rearing. The greatest service you can do for any child is to let it know where it stands in relation to the greater society, and sometimes, that means applying the lash to the seat of the child's pants; indeed, better a spanking at an early age than a hanging at a later age.
Oh, by the way, your little insult, "Grow up man..this is just pure ego..." did not go by unnoticed. I have chosen not to respond to it, however, because I believe you are a product of the "progressive school" of child raising, to which you apparently suscribe and, consequently, you haven't a clue as to what horrors lie in the 'can of worms' you have just opened. Bottom line: Do on to others as you would have others do onto you, because if you do onto me again as you have done, you will be Dresden and I will be the allied bombers; comprehend?
Just a little friendly advice.
RO |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
|
|
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group • Forum skin by Volize
|
| |
|
|
